im emo-ing now .
its lovyn's birthday today .
something happened in my family .
kind of serious .
i was stun by it .
i didnt noe how to react .
and i react by jus CRYING .

it didnt save me from anything .
jus let me feels much more comfortable .
the thing is still running in my mind .
and my shoulders are giving me problems rite now .

tomolo's the interview ,
and here i am ,
infront of my lap top .
staring into the wall infront of me .
thinking how to start the ball rolling to my father .
saying is easy ,
but doing is hard .

i wanted to tell the 8 of u wat happened .
but than again ,
what u all could do was jus to comfort me .
i appriciate it .
will tell u all about it when we meet ba .
but for now ,
this shall be kept deep inside my heart .

forgive me for not telling u all first hand .
i need time .
how i wish i could disappear now .
and now i wish the shoulder that i need is here .

my lil' brother ,
i don blame u for doing this .
but y didnt u think twice ?
i blame myself for not stopping you when my 6th sense tells me to do so .
im speechless for that moment .
and now ,
IM LOST .